Archive for September, 2015
» posted on Saturday, September 5th, 2015 at 7:41 am by OutwithJoe
Comments Off on The Black Dot: A Beautiful and Inspiring Story! | filed under Uncategorized
» posted on Friday, September 4th, 2015 at 7:33 am by OutwithJoe
Comments Off on Anymore questions, about what’s going on????? | filed under Uncategorized
» posted on Friday, September 4th, 2015 at 7:30 am by OutwithJoe
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple i phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany …
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full- color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.
” Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’ t know sh*t about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”
“Now give me back my dog.”
AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
Comments Off on Bud the Montana Cowboy | filed under Uncategorized
» posted on Thursday, September 3rd, 2015 at 7:26 am by OutwithJoe
Isn’t this precious! A muslim in charge of US Citizenship papers. What do you think of this appointment?Interesting? ( I wonder if she is even an American citizen)
This is not a joke! Most Americans have NO IDEA. Please forward this to as many people as you can.
Meet Fatima Noor, President Obama’s latest appointment to a high level position in the Department of Homeland Security, the post of Assistant Director for U.S. Citizenship and Immigration.
Ms. Noor has little if any experience in the compliance or enforcement fields. Her total experience in government related work is limited to
volunteer work with World Relief Memphis and as activities coordinator of the Tennessee Immigrant and Refugee Rights Coalition.
She majored in psychology with minors in Spanish and Arabic international relations. She recently completed a month-long research fellowship in Muslim psychology hosted by Carnegie-Mellon and the University of Pittsburgh. Her research will be ongoing as part of her work in the DHS.
No….this is not a joke!
Comments Off on Meet Our New Assistant Director for U.S. Citizenship and Immigration | filed under Uncategorized
» posted on Tuesday, September 1st, 2015 at 7:52 am by OutwithJoe
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were walking down the
street when they came to a homeless person. Trump gave
the homeless person his business card and told him to come
to his office for a job. He then took $20 out of his pocket and
gave it to the homeless person.
Hillary was very impressed, so when they came to another
homeless person, she decided to help. She walked over to
the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare
office. She then reached into Trump’s pocket and got out $20.
She kept $15 for her administrative fees and gave the
homeless person $5.
Now, do you understand the difference between a Republican
and a Democrat?
Comments Off on A little Trumillary humor … | filed under Uncategorized